Episode summary
Aaron Stark is known for saying something most people never expect to hear: “I was almost a school shooter.”
But this episode is about what comes after that sentence.
As a teenager, Aaron came frighteningly close to committing an act of mass violence. Human connection helped interrupt that trajectory before anyone was harmed. Yet avoiding the act did not mean simply leaving that version of himself behind. Aaron has had to live with the knowledge of what he intended to do, what could have happened, and who he might have become.
In the first episode of Repair: Making Space For More, Aaron joins Sammy Rangel for a deeply personal conversation about what repair looks like when the harm you carry is something you almost caused. Together, they explore trauma, isolation, accountability, shame, belonging, and the lifelong work of making meaning from a past that cannot simply be erased.
Aaron’s story begins with repair before the breaking point. But its deeper story is one of repair after it: reckoning with the person he almost became and choosing, again and again, what to do with that knowledge.
Content Note: This episode includes discussion of childhood abuse, suicidal ideation, gun violence, and plans for a school shooting. Please listen with care.
In this episode, we cover
- Living with what almost happened. Aaron reflects on carrying the knowledge that he once intended to commit an act of mass violence — and what it means to take that possibility seriously even though the act itself never occurred.
- Repair before the breaking point. We explore the human connection that interrupted Aaron’s trajectory and what his story reveals about the possibility of reaching people before harm becomes irreversible.
- Understanding the path without excusing it. Aaron discusses the abuse, shame, isolation, and self-hatred that shaped his adolescence while remaining clear about the seriousness of the choices he was considering.
- Accountability for the person you almost became. What does accountability look like when there are no victims of the act you intended, but there is still a moral weight to what you nearly did?
- Shame, responsibility, and self-understanding. Aaron and Sammy examine the difference between being defined by the worst version of yourself and being willing to reckon honestly with it.
- Turning responsibility into purpose. Aaron shares how speaking openly about his past has become part of his own repair: using lived experience to help others understand pathways toward violence and recognize opportunities for intervention.
- Repair as something lived, not completed. Rather than treating repair as a destination, Aaron’s story explores what it means to continually reckon with the past while choosing what kind of person to be in the present.
Meet our guest
Aaron Stark: speaker, advocate, and violence prevention educator. Aaron Stark is a public speaker and advocate whose story became widely known through his TEDx talk, I Was Almost a School Shooter. As a teenager experiencing severe abuse, isolation, and self-hatred, Aaron came dangerously close to committing an act of mass violence before human connection helped interrupt that trajectory.
Today, Aaron speaks openly about that period of his life and the responsibility of living with what almost happened. His work focuses on helping others better understand pathways toward violence, the importance of human connection, and the possibility of choosing a different path.
Connect with Aaron: Instagram @aarongstark79 · YouTube: Aaron Stark · TEDx talk: I Was Almost a School Shooter
Episode timestamps
- 00:20 – Welcome to Repair: Making Space For More
- 01:46 – Aaron Stark and the story behind “I Was Almost a School Shooter”
- 02:18 – Childhood trauma, isolation, and the path toward violence
- 32:07 – What does repair mean to Aaron today?
- 34:14 – What are we making space for?
- 38:51 – Outro
Resources mentioned in this episode
Aaron Stark — I Was Almost a School Shooter. Aaron’s TEDxBoulder talk about the experiences that brought him close to committing a school shooting, the human connection that interrupted that trajectory, and what he has learned since.
Aaron Stark’s story — NOW I AM_. Explore more of Aaron’s story and his reflections on violence, responsibility, human connection, and repair.
Join the conversation
If this conversation stayed with you, please continue checking this space for new episodes. We’ll be available in Apple Podcasts and Spotify in early 2027.
How do we live responsibly with the versions of ourselves we no longer want to be? What does repair look like when there is no act to undo, but there is still something to reckon with? Join the conversation with NOW I AM_ and tell us a story of repair in your life.
About Repair
Repair: Making Space For More explores what it means to live honestly with harm — whether we caused it, experienced it, nearly caused it, or inherited its consequences. Through deeply human stories, we examine accountability without dehumanization, responsibility without shame, and the difficult work of making space for something beyond what has already happened.
Connect with the hosts
Follow Sammy Rangel · Follow Christy Grace Provines (Instagram @cgpnyc) · NOW I AM_: creating a culture of repair in America
Production
Christy Grace Provines, creative director and co-host · Sammy Rangel, lead host · Tim Shores, producer · Matt Lolich, post-production editor
